Directed by: Toby Young
Starring: Simon Pegg, Kirsten Dunst, Megan Fox, Gillian Anderson
Other Actors of Note: Jeff Bridges, Danny Huston
Plot: A British writer struggles to fit in at a high-profile magazine in New York. Based on Toby Young's memoir "How to Lose Friends & Alienate People". Taken from www.imdb.com.
Simon Pegg commences his daily job of trying to coax Kirsten Dunst out from her blanket fort in the break room so they can do a scene. Romantic comedies are like an abusive spouse. They hit you and scream at you and hurt you time after time but you always tell yourself you're done with them but they come to you with a nice premise and then before you know it you're going right back to them.
Unfortunately thanks to Richard Gere and that fish-lipped pirate hooker Julia Roberts romantic comedies started beating on the ones they love long ago and they've gotten better, but it still doesn't look hopeful.
However, being the naive little girl that I am, always running back to the genre that has mistreated me for as long as I can remember I still pray and hope that one day I can find a funny romantic comedy that alienates neither men nor women and doesn't have to have a plot about zombies to keep it interesting.
I went in to this movie not really knowing what to expect and much likes David Schwimmer's recent romantic comedy "Run Fatboy Run", also starring Simon Pegg which was good more due to the strength of its ensemble cast than its plot or dialogue.
Sidney Young (Simon Pegg) is a british reporter who dishes the dirt on celebrities in his independently produced magazine. He's blackballed by every celebrity and agent everywhere because he's brutally honest and scathing and more often than not insults and debases any celebrity he covers.
After a debacle where he chats up Thandie Newton (Pegg's inhumanly gorgeous co-star from "Run Fatboy Run") and gets beaten up by Clint Eastwood he gets hired to a popular American publication by Clayton Harding (Jeff Bridges), the owner of the magazine.
But upon reaching New York city he fucks up pretty much everything he can and clashes with his boss (Danny Huston), his coworker (Kirsten Dunst), and some sort of talent agent (Gillian Anderson).
Naturally by the halfway point of the film, Kirsten Dunst is soiling her panties over him and they kiss in slow motion.
"So he says 'You've got red on you' and I say..." "Huh? Were you talking? I'm sorry, I was busy thinking about how I'm ruining the Spider-Man franchise with my bad acting."Simon Pegg is for the most part the glue that holds this film together. His great acting ability helps keep the overly pass'e and tired role of the loveable loser without a hope. The problem is that Sidney isn't a loveable loser, he's an asshole. Toby Young (the writer of the book on which the movie is based and the inspiration for Pegg's character) was reportedly banned from set for annoying the actors and interrupting the director, and honestly if he's half the annoying troll that Sidney is I can't blame the crew for banning him.
It's as if halway through the movie Robert B. Weide went "Holy shit, this guy's a douche. We need 50 ccs of likeablity stat!" This transition goes from going down like a bucket full of acid-tipped sea urchins to merely going down like a martini glass of razor wire coated in balsemic vingar. The fact that Pegg makes this shit bearable really shows his ability.
Surprisingly Kirsten Dunst, who I haven't liked in the least since the first "Spider-Man" movie, shows a rare sort of endearing charm and loveability. Of course this is somewhat thrown out by the fact that her character is dating ultra douchebag Danny Huston behind his wife's back but she still shows disgust at seeing Pegg with another woman after she's told him she's going to be with Huston.
Gillian Anderson plays her part well. She's manipulative, mean-spirited, and a total domineering ice queen. I might have been put off by her character if I wasn't too busy drooling and howling like a Tex Avery wolf.
Megan Fox was the big surprise to me. Despite being too sexy for even me to hate her becuase she's a flash in the pan starlet who mostly got to where she is by her looks without concentrating on it really hard she manages to do a great job in a very satirical job. He line delivery isn't bland like it was in "Transformers" and she comes across like an airheaded bitcy Paris Hilton type.
I never thought Danny Huston would seem more creepy without vampire fangs. His character is scummy and just a general dick, the fact that his mouth seems roughly the size to fit at least 3 pool balls helps this come across.
And finally Jeff Bridges is really the best actor in the movie. Though he has something like 15 minutes of screen time he plays all of it great. It's apparent that Harding was at one point not unlike Sidney and sold out to become successful and regrets it but knows he's doing all he can. Of course Clayton is such a minor part that it wouldn't matter if he was Citizen fucking Kane.
Gillian Anderson as a mean-spirited dominant woman only supports that long time fantasy of her dressed in leather beating me with a rolled up copy of the script for the "X-Files" movie... uh... I mean...As I said above, the story is decidedly divided between two very different halves and its so apparent that you can practically see the seams.
The first half is actually a rather ballsy r rated reasonably decent comedy which has some good jokes if they are a bit cliche. The only real problem with the first half is that Simon Pegg is just too damn likable to play Sidney. As a result you feel like everyone is being mean, unfair, and just downright prickish to him.
At about the halfway point the story changes entirely and Simon Pegg falls for Kirsten Dunst. Okay, that's a bit strange but it makes some kind of sense. What's even more bewildering is that she falls for him.
Next Dunst continues making mistakes by falling for Danny Huston and Simon Pegg gets down on his knees in the rain and begs Gillian Anderson to let him write an article praising a hack director. Then we're treated to a Rocky-like triumphant montage of Pegg shilling and becoming a sellout all to the most inspiring music the crew could dig up.
Fortunately he comes to his senses and all is well... I guess. I'm not sure what sort of message this film is trying to convey and I wonder how much of Toby Young's book actually made it into the latter half of this movie.
To sum it up the first half is full crude jokes, transexual strippers, and two-thirds of the cast of "The IT Crowd" the second half is cliche, tired, and not all that great.
"That rug really tied the room together, dude."If anybody remembers "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People" it will be because of a good ensemble cast or because they're trying to recall horribly unspectacular romantic comedies.
I give "How to Lose Friends nad Alienate People" a 2 out of 5. It's not horrible, but you won't be missing anything if you don't see it.
Man enough is fucking enough, I am sick of these motherfucking romantic comedies on my motherfucking blog! It's fucking october, romantic comedies can suck a dick, I'm reviewing a horror movie!
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