OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies (2006 International, 2008 US)


Directed by: Michel Hazanavicius

Starring: Jean Dujardin, Berenice Bejo, Philippe Lefebvre

Plot: The main plot starts with the disappearances of an OSS agent, Jack Jefferson, and a Russian cargo ship in Cairo. Agent OSS 117 is sent to investigate the events, since he and agent Jefferson share a history, shown in a short opening sequence and in flashbacks throughout the film. OSS 117 stumbles into a web of international intrigue, that involves the French, separate factions of Egyptians, Russians, a goofy Belgian spy and even Neo-Nazis of the first hour. Taken from www.wikipedia.org.

Imagine if you a will a movie that combines the overly rude and outrageousness of "The Pink Panther", the less over-the-top gags of "The Naked Gun", and the bumbling spy parody of "Get Smart." Now imagine this movie is French, and you have "OSS 117."

For those not in the know, "OSS 117" is a series of French spy novels wrtiten by Jean Bruce that predates Ian Fleming's "James Bond" series by 4 years. Now while the series was deadly serious this movie is a parody along the lines of the original "Casino Royale" (the one starring Peter Sellers and David Niven) where it uses the actual character but in a more humorous fashion.

After a black and white opening sequence involving a mustachioed 117 karate chopping a Nazi and throwing him out of a plane. (The way any movie should begin, really.) We are treated to a sequence of 117 in a bed with a sexy Egyptian princes wherupon she tries to kill him and then they tussle and he subdues her and then naturally has sex with her at her own wish. (AKA the way every single Sean Connery "Bond" film started)

Then he gets sent to the Cairo (because he is an expert on the Middle East) to find his missing partner, Jack. Upon arriving he pisses off a Muslim extremist group, some Nazis, and pretty much everybody else.

Jean Dujardin is fucking brilliant in the role of Hubert de La Bath/OSS 117, he is like a combination of Peter Sellers, Sacha Baron Cohen, and a young Leslie Nielsen. Which fits as he's more or less playing a sick amalgam between Inspector Clousseau, Maxwell Smart, and Frank Drebin. He has a certain cheeky pride in himself but at the same time he's also an aboslute jackass. One of the big jokes is that for an expert on the Middle East he knows relatively nothing about the culture. At one point this exchange happens:

I was woken by a guy screaming on a tower. I couldn't sleep. I had to shut him up."

(Shocked tone) "A muezzin? You `shut up' a muezzin?! He was calling for prayer!!"

(Bemusedly) "Yours is a strange religion. You'll grow tired of it...it won't last long."

Berenice Bejo plays the typical "I'm your enemy, I'm not your enemy, lets do it!" love interest found in just about every spy film. She's as two dimensional as her character requires and it works for her.

Phillipe Lefebvre plays Hubert's partner Jack. Most of his appearances in the movie are via flashback. Every time Jack's name is mentioned Hubert very nostalgically says "Jack..." and drifts off to a flashback in which the two are standing on a beach in swimming trunks participating in some extremely homoerotic activity.

One of the finer things about this movie is the way it is filmed. With the exception of some very obvious CGI skeletons every single from of this movie looks like it was filmed in the 1960s. No steady cam, the car scenes are obviously filmed on a sound stage with a fake background, and the film quality has that nostalgic "old" look.

The film is one of the more subtle jabs at old spy movies. But there are several other jokes like the obligatory foot chase scene where Hubert actually gets lost in the streets of Cairo and has to ask for directions to find his way back, a scene where Hubert and a masked assailant have a fight by throwing live chickens at one another, and a Neo-Nazi unfurling the damsel in distress by pulling away a giant Nazi flag but accidently tearing it in the center and going "Shit."

Of course much of the humor comes from the title character such as when the Muezzin does the morning prayer and Hubert opens the window and goes "Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!" and a recurring joke about Hubert messing with the chickens by turning the lights on and off.

The big difference between Hubert and Jacques Clousseau or Maxwell Smart (the original one anyway) is that aside from being a stupid ignorant jackass he is rather good at what he does. He is actually good at fighting and shooting and its that cheeky arrogance he has about it that makes it so wonderfully delightful to watch. One scene he is attacked in a hotel room and as he is dispatching the would-be assassin he turns to the woman in the room and says "I love to fight."

The music is all period pieces and all independently composed. However they missed out by not having some overdramatized song that ties in with the title of the movie sung by some flash-in-the-pan artist over the opening credits like what was parodied in the Zucker Brothers comedy "Spy Hard" (Sung by Weird Al Yankovic and sadly the best part of the whole movie) But otherwise the tongue is planted firmly in cheek and executed perfectly.

"OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies" is one of the finest comedies I've seen in some time. And really puts it to movies like "Austin Powers" to show that you can parody spy films and appeal to an audience that's not A) 13 or B) A douchebag.

I give "OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies" a 5 out of 5. It's a lot of fun and if you can get over the fact that you'll have to read subtitles you'll see that its worlds better than what you're used to.

RocknRolla (2008)


Directed by: Guy Ritchie

Starring: Gerard Butler, Idris Elba, Tom Hardy, Toby Kebbell, Ludacris, Thandie Newton, Jeremy Piven, Karel Roden, Mark Strong, Tom Wilkinson

Plot: In London, a real-estate scam puts millions of pounds up for grabs, attracting some of the city's scrappiest tough guys and its more established underworld types, all of whom are looking to get rich quick. While the city's seasoned criminals vie for the cash, an unexpected player -- a drugged out rock 'n' roller presumed to be dead but very much alive -- has a multi-million dollar prize fall into his hands. Taken from www.imdb.com.


Explaining the plot to a Guy Ritchie film is like describing string theory to a bunch of blind and deaf cavemen whilst speaking only in Pig Latin. No less, for all 2 of you who read this (by the way, thanks Mom and Dad) I will try.

The entire story is narrated by Archie (Mark Strong) the head goon of old school London gangster Lenny Cole (Tom Wilkinson) who deals in getting building contracts illegally. Through an example of how Cole does business we're introduced to The Wild Bunch, consisting of One Two (Gerard Butler), Mumbles (Idris Elba), and Handsome Bob (Tom Hardy) who are promptly fucked over by Cole and owing him some money.

So we flash to another business deal between cole and Russian new school gangster Uri (Karel Roden) who loans Cole his lucky painting (a McGuffin that was perhaps the contents of the suitcase in "Pulp Fiction" as we never fucking get to see it) which is then promptly stolen by Cole's step-son, rocker and namesake of this film, Johnny Quid (Toby Kebbell).

Meanwhile Uri tries to get $70,000 through his money laundering accountant Stella (Thandie Newton) who unknown to Uri is looking for a bit of excitement in her life and promptly has the money stolen, twice no less, by the Wild Bunch.

Meanwhile Cole has Archie on the trail of Johnny Quid who has faked his own death and they threaten two talent executives, Mickey (Jeremy Piven) and Roman (Ludacris), who have to track down Quid or all of their venues will be shut down.


Gerard Butler plays One Two, also known as "the role Jason Statham would be playing if he wasn't being a stupid tit and starring in movies where he finds different ways to kick people in the face for 2 hours." No less, Butler is one of the highlights of the film. It's nice seeing him play a lighthearted part instead of a Spartan king with giant teeth, or a vampire, or a deformed opera enthusiast, or Beowulf. One Two is easily the second most entertaining character in the film, more on that later.

Tom Wilkinson is more than passable as Leonard Cole, but lets be honest, he's no Brick Top. He's not as memorable, entertaining, or as menacing as Alan Ford. In fact Wilkinson usually just seems like a moron, which is I guess part of his character but it comes across as a bit disappointing.

Mark Strong is I guess touted as the main character of the movie as Archie. But the thing is, Archie doesn't really have a big part in the story. However, he's twice as menacing and interesting than Cole and Uri together.

Speaking of Uri, he seems more like the bad guy from "Beerfest" than an actual villain. As far as Russian mobsters go he's probably the least threathening one I have ever seen.

Thandie Newton in the role of Stella is a good reminder of why Guy Ritchie rarely uses female characters. Newton is as always sickeningly adorable and a decent actor but the role (as most of hers seem to) seems to utilize her looks moreso than any acting talent she might have and by the time the movie's over she feels like more of a bit part than a character.

Jeremy Piven and Ludacris are fairly entertaining as Mickey and Roman respectively. Honestly they have a bigger part then I would have expected them to and Ludacris does a much better job in this film than he did in "Max Payne."

Finally, the biggest role and the best performance of the film goes to the show stealer Toby Kebbell as Johnny Quid. Johnny is your average heroin addicted rock star who just refuses to die, but there's more to Johnny than meets the eye. As well as being nigh-unkillable he's got a nice backstory stemming from the abusive treatment of his step-father, he's fairly deep (which I found nothing short of shocking), and he's got lethal skills with a pencil that would make even the Joker jealous. Kebbell steals every scene he's in and some he's not which makes the prospect of the sequel all that much sweeter.


It's hard to not compare this movie to "Snatch" and let's face it. I have a lot of things but decency and integrity are not among them, so fuck it, lets do that.

"Rocknrolla" manages to be funny, violent, and overall entertaining. There have been a lot of complaints that Ritchie is just going his old stuff all over again. But can anybody who's seen "Swept Away" and "Revolver" actually say that that's a bad thing?

The plot threads are many and it does get convoluted and in the end the way they all tie together is overall pretty weak. Characters like Uri and Stella feel tacked on and barely part of the plot, seeming to be mere red herrings that eventually end up being used to try and patch bits of the story together.

Some of the scenes are sure to be instant classics, primarily the two partially botched robberies by One Two, Mumbles, and Bob where in the first one they can't figure out how to put the car in reverse and in the second they're chased by two nigh-unkillable Germans that fill "the role that would be played by Vinnie Jones if he wasn't being a stupid tit and starring in movies where he plays a serial killer dressed like Forrest Gump."

Another wonderful thing is the score, I must own the soundtrack to this film, it is mag-fucking-nificent. True it's not the Quentin Tarantino "ironic 70s pop songs to torture by" soundtrack, but it is a pulse pounding hard rock score that manages to be something other than screaming Iron Maiden ripoff bands that 13-year-olds would post pictures of on their trapper keepers, no what is featured here is rock but it's also actually music. It helps set the atmosphere at all points in the movie and works well with the cool London crime theme they have going.


All in all as Guy Ritchie films go "Rocknrolla" is better than "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" but not quite as good as "Snatch." But then that's like saying that a handful of diamonds isn't as good as the holy grail. If you feel the need to complain, you're probably an asshole.

I give "Rocknrolla" a 5 out of 5. Watch it, buy it, love it. And look out for the sequel "The Real Rocknrolla" coming sometime after Ritchie finishes with his Sherlock Holmes movie.