Directed by: Guy Ritchie
Starring: Gerard Butler, Idris Elba, Tom Hardy, Toby Kebbell, Ludacris, Thandie Newton, Jeremy Piven, Karel Roden, Mark Strong, Tom Wilkinson
Plot: In London, a real-estate scam puts millions of pounds up for grabs, attracting some of the city's scrappiest tough guys and its more established underworld types, all of whom are looking to get rich quick. While the city's seasoned criminals vie for the cash, an unexpected player -- a drugged out rock 'n' roller presumed to be dead but very much alive -- has a multi-million dollar prize fall into his hands. Taken from www.imdb.com.
Explaining the plot to a Guy Ritchie film is like describing string theory to a bunch of blind and deaf cavemen whilst speaking only in Pig Latin. No less, for all 2 of you who read this (by the way, thanks Mom and Dad) I will try.
The entire story is narrated by Archie (Mark Strong) the head goon of old school London gangster Lenny Cole (Tom Wilkinson) who deals in getting building contracts illegally. Through an example of how Cole does business we're introduced to The Wild Bunch, consisting of One Two (Gerard Butler), Mumbles (Idris Elba), and Handsome Bob (Tom Hardy) who are promptly fucked over by Cole and owing him some money.
So we flash to another business deal between cole and Russian new school gangster Uri (Karel Roden) who loans Cole his lucky painting (a McGuffin that was perhaps the contents of the suitcase in "Pulp Fiction" as we never fucking get to see it) which is then promptly stolen by Cole's step-son, rocker and namesake of this film, Johnny Quid (Toby Kebbell).
Meanwhile Uri tries to get $70,000 through his money laundering accountant Stella (Thandie Newton) who unknown to Uri is looking for a bit of excitement in her life and promptly has the money stolen, twice no less, by the Wild Bunch.
Meanwhile Cole has Archie on the trail of Johnny Quid who has faked his own death and they threaten two talent executives, Mickey (Jeremy Piven) and Roman (Ludacris), who have to track down Quid or all of their venues will be shut down.
Gerard Butler plays One Two, also known as "the role Jason Statham would be playing if he wasn't being a stupid tit and starring in movies where he finds different ways to kick people in the face for 2 hours." No less, Butler is one of the highlights of the film. It's nice seeing him play a lighthearted part instead of a Spartan king with giant teeth, or a vampire, or a deformed opera enthusiast, or Beowulf. One Two is easily the second most entertaining character in the film, more on that later.
Tom Wilkinson is more than passable as Leonard Cole, but lets be honest, he's no Brick Top. He's not as memorable, entertaining, or as menacing as Alan Ford. In fact Wilkinson usually just seems like a moron, which is I guess part of his character but it comes across as a bit disappointing.
Mark Strong is I guess touted as the main character of the movie as Archie. But the thing is, Archie doesn't really have a big part in the story. However, he's twice as menacing and interesting than Cole and Uri together.
Speaking of Uri, he seems more like the bad guy from "Beerfest" than an actual villain. As far as Russian mobsters go he's probably the least threathening one I have ever seen.
Thandie Newton in the role of Stella is a good reminder of why Guy Ritchie rarely uses female characters. Newton is as always sickeningly adorable and a decent actor but the role (as most of hers seem to) seems to utilize her looks moreso than any acting talent she might have and by the time the movie's over she feels like more of a bit part than a character.
Jeremy Piven and Ludacris are fairly entertaining as Mickey and Roman respectively. Honestly they have a bigger part then I would have expected them to and Ludacris does a much better job in this film than he did in "Max Payne."
Finally, the biggest role and the best performance of the film goes to the show stealer Toby Kebbell as Johnny Quid. Johnny is your average heroin addicted rock star who just refuses to die, but there's more to Johnny than meets the eye. As well as being nigh-unkillable he's got a nice backstory stemming from the abusive treatment of his step-father, he's fairly deep (which I found nothing short of shocking), and he's got lethal skills with a pencil that would make even the Joker jealous. Kebbell steals every scene he's in and some he's not which makes the prospect of the sequel all that much sweeter.
It's hard to not compare this movie to "Snatch" and let's face it. I have a lot of things but decency and integrity are not among them, so fuck it, lets do that.
"Rocknrolla" manages to be funny, violent, and overall entertaining. There have been a lot of complaints that Ritchie is just going his old stuff all over again. But can anybody who's seen "Swept Away" and "Revolver" actually say that that's a bad thing?
The plot threads are many and it does get convoluted and in the end the way they all tie together is overall pretty weak. Characters like Uri and Stella feel tacked on and barely part of the plot, seeming to be mere red herrings that eventually end up being used to try and patch bits of the story together.
Some of the scenes are sure to be instant classics, primarily the two partially botched robberies by One Two, Mumbles, and Bob where in the first one they can't figure out how to put the car in reverse and in the second they're chased by two nigh-unkillable Germans that fill "the role that would be played by Vinnie Jones if he wasn't being a stupid tit and starring in movies where he plays a serial killer dressed like Forrest Gump."
Another wonderful thing is the score, I must own the soundtrack to this film, it is mag-fucking-nificent. True it's not the Quentin Tarantino "ironic 70s pop songs to torture by" soundtrack, but it is a pulse pounding hard rock score that manages to be something other than screaming Iron Maiden ripoff bands that 13-year-olds would post pictures of on their trapper keepers, no what is featured here is rock but it's also actually music. It helps set the atmosphere at all points in the movie and works well with the cool London crime theme they have going.
All in all as Guy Ritchie films go "Rocknrolla" is better than "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" but not quite as good as "Snatch." But then that's like saying that a handful of diamonds isn't as good as the holy grail. If you feel the need to complain, you're probably an asshole.
I give "Rocknrolla" a 5 out of 5. Watch it, buy it, love it. And look out for the sequel "The Real Rocknrolla" coming sometime after Ritchie finishes with his Sherlock Holmes movie.
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