The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)


Directed by: Rob Cohen

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello, John Hannah, Luke Ford, and Michelle Yeoh

Plot: In the Far East, trouble-seeking father-and-son duo Rick and Alex O'Connell unearth the mummy of the first Emperor of Qin -- a shape-shifting entity who was cursed by a wizard centuries ago. Taken from www.imdb.com.

"Hello, I look absolutely nothing like Rachel Weisz and you're going to spend the movie feeling awkward because of it."

The third movie in the "Mummy" series (4th if you count "The Scorpion King" but nobody who likes good movies does) starts with an overly long tale of Emperor Han, a ruthless man who wished to conquer the world (as any good dictator does) he builds the great wall of China and buries all of his opponents beneath the wall. (Because dead bodies make a wonderful foundation) he is cursed by a witch and he and his army end up covered up in terracotta making him "immortal."

Flash forward to the future where Evy O'Connell (Mario Bell0) has turned the past two adventures into trashy romance novels and her publisher wants a third but she can't manage to find the inspiration for a third. Meanwhile husband Rick (Brendan Fraiser) isn't dealing well with retirement either, desperately wanting to get back into things. Meanwhile still, son Alex (Luke Ford) tries to excavate the tomb of Emperor Han.

Of course the tomb is full of traps and everyone but the principal characters gets melted or shot before they get to the emperor's tomb. Alex is then attacked by a ninja but escapes, taking the sarcophagus of the emperor to a museum.

Back in England Rick and Evy get contracted for one last mission to take a jewel to the same museum that Alex has dropped out of college to excavate dead emperors for. So they meet up in a nightclub called "Imhotep's" in China owned by Evy's brother Jonathan (John Hannah) because China is the perfect place for an Egyptian themed night club owned by an Englishman.

Naturally there's some evil general who wants to bring the Emperor back to life and the O'Connell family gets wrapped up in another adventure with mummies.

"Oh my God... my son is a moron."

First of all for those wondering if this movie would suffer from the lack of Arnold Vosloo and Oded Fehr; the answer is FUCK YES IT SUFFERS! It burns in fucking movie hell because of this.

Brendan Fraiser is as always good. Anybody who disagrees can eat a dick. He plays Rick just as well as always, though he seems a bit young to be playing the geezer-type character that Harrison Ford played in the new "Indiana Jones" movie. No less he delivers a satisfying performance.

Unlike Rick is Luke Ford as Alex, the inquisitive kid from "The Mummy Returns" who has dropped his intelligence and British accent in favor of becoming a complete douchebag. If this film wasn't set in 1946 he would be wearing a pink polo shirt with a popped collar. Though he does manage to be far too tan so he's partway there. If you thought Mutt Williams was annoying, then you will really hate this cocky man whore who gives a performance like the cheap man's Christian Slater.

Mario Bello does a fine job as Evy and doesn't fall short by any standard. The problem is she's not series mainstay Rachel Weisz, and though the two actresses sound nearly identical they look nothing alike. You wouldn't imagine this would be so distracting but it feels like a member of your own family has been replaced by a cheap imitation and it will bother you the whole time.

John Hannah does as well as he ever has and being the only person other than Brendan Fraser to return for movie number 3 he's a welcome addition to the cast. Though Jonathan's apperance in the movie makes about as much sense as having Imhotep and Ardeth Bay return would have been.

Jet Li being called the "star" of this movie is like The Rock being called the "star" of "The Mummy Returns" though Li does get a good 20-25 minutes more creen time than the Rock did, but still doesn't come back into the film until the last 30 minutes. It shocks me how much Jet Li's career has fallen to where he's considered a suitable replacement for Arnold Vosloo. It's like he's back to early his days when his biggest roll was as the bad guy in Lethal Weapon 4.

Michelle Yeoh (of "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon") is absolutely wasted as Zi Juan the immortal witch who cursed Emperor Han. She's very good in what little part she gets (She manages to drop lines like "The Yetis can help" without making me giggle) and it's a shame that she's held to a few small lines and one very uninspired fight scene between she and the emperor.

Finally there is Isabella Leong as Zi Juan's daughter and Alex's ninja love interest. She shows some promise as an actress and I wouldn't mind seeing her in a few more movies.

Jet Li breaks new ground this time around by kicking a guy in an over dramatized slow motion action sequence.

The special effects are just as good as in "The Mummy Returns" and considering that they were trumped by "Lord of the Rings" waaaay back in 2001 it's a bit disappointing to find out they couldn't do something more.

The fight sequences are mostly horrible but some of the action sequences like a gunfight in a temple in the Himalayas with a group of Chinese soldiers and 3 fairly competent looking CGI yetis that's rather well choreographed and the final showdown between Rick and crew with The Army of Darkness... I mean uh, the re-animated enemies of Emperor Han having an epic battle with the emperor, his Terracotta army, and a group of Chinese soldiers while not Lord of the Rings epic is still rather well done.

What suffers the most are the typical hand to hand fight scenes which are almost all terrible with the exception of the final fight between Jet Li, Brendan Fraiser, and Luke Ford which echoes the brutual fight scene between Jet Li, Mel Gibson, and Danny Glover at the end of Lethal Weapon 4.

"*GASP!* My Axe body spray just ran out."

The story for this movie is a bit weak in comparison to the last two. Evy's struggles with writing a third "Mummy" book seem to echo the screen writer's troubles with making a third "Mummy" movie and unfortunately just like Evy the story never lives up to the previous chapters.

Rick is under-utilized and too much emphasis is put on Alex. I'm told this is because Alex will take over for the series from this point on. I hope not as Alex is more akin to the annoying cowboys from the first "Mummy" movie than Rick. At this point I'd feel more satisfied if Jonathan became the hero of the series with Beni as the plucky sidekick.

There is a well done plot point put together about the father-son dynamic between Alex and Rick as well as the romantic plot between immortal Lin and he. The problem is that Alex is such an unlikable twat that you can't take your mind off of bludgeoning him with burlap sack filled with doorknobs long enough to feel compassion for him.

The first act is horrific with juvenile attempts at humor and just shoddily written storyline, and people who are prone to walking out of movies probably will, and while the second act picks up a little bit it's still fairly weak. It's not until the third act where the movie picks up and redeems itself but this could have just been because it reminded me so much of "Army of Darkness." Rick even borrows Ash's "Welcome to the 20th century" line. But even as the poor man's "Army of Darkness" the third act is what redeems the rest of the movie and takes it from crap to actually pretty good.

Brendan Fraiser fails to notice he's not actually holding a gun.

While it's the worst of the 3 films it is a worthwhile action film with a lot of flaws, but it's certainly not a "bad" movie, just the kind you don't want to think about too hard.

I give "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" a 4 out of 5. If you're a fan of the series it is worth your time to at least see it.